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medical schmoozekings and queens of schmooze

kings and queens of schmooze

Here are some schmooze offerings - send us yours and we'll include you as a king or queen of schooze!   Send your words of wisdom to Schmooseum  marking it for inclusion on the website.


David Steinberg My father never lived to see his dream come true of an
all-Yiddish-speaking Canada.
Henny Youngman I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up. They have no holidays.
Mel Brooks Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable.  So, for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one.
Jules Farber The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and skullcap will not bar a man from the White House, unless, of course, the man is Jewish.
Shalom Aleichem God, I know we are your chosen people, but couldn't you choose somebody else for a change?
Calvin Trillin The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years sheserved us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never beenfound.
Golda Meir

Let me tell you the one thing I have against Moses. He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil!

Don't be humble; you are not that great.

Benjamin Disraeli My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
Sam Levenson It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
Joe E. Lewis I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
Fran Lebowitz Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Sam Goldwyn

Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.

A spoken contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.


I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth, even if it costs them their jobs.

Oscar Levant A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
Groucho Marx Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Mort Sahl Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Woody Allen I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Heinrich Heine God will pardon me. It's His business.

Corazon (Cory) Aquino It is true you cannot eat freedom and you cannot power machinery with democracy. But then neither can political prisoners turn on the light in the cells of a dictatorship.
Virginia Woolf I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman.
Wendy Kaminer Whatever lessons we take from this dreadful attack (on the World Trade Center and Pentagon), we should never forget that it was, after all, a faith based initiative.


Dorothy Parker

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

His body has gone to his head.

He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires.

It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard.

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.